


Calling Auror Potter!

by PrinnPrick



Series: Love (and) Letters [19]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror, Epistolary, Humor, Letters, M/M, Romance, misuse of authority figures, shrubbery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 04:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12314094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinnPrick/pseuds/PrinnPrick
Summary: Draco Malfoy needs Auror help, and only the best will do... Whether "the best" likes it or not.





	Calling Auror Potter!

**Author's Note:**

> Assistance on the original draft by Playout.

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

We have assigned your case No. 867765 to Auror Potter. If you have any questions or comments involving your case please refer to Auror Potter by owl post.

Thank you,  
Head Auror Clause

******

Dear Malfoy,

Do not contact me about your case.

Potter

******

Dear Auror Potter,

That is hardly the sort of response I would expect from a member of the esteemed Auror corps of the British Ministry of Magic. I am a law abiding citizen who has been made the victim of a most heinous crime and you, sir, have sworn an oath to uphold the law, protect the innocent, and see that justice is served. There is a criminal at-large who might be wreaking havoc on unsuspecting shrubbery this very moment while you refuse to do your job. For shame. 

I expect you to get to the bottom of this post haste, else I will have a stern word with your immediate supervisor.

It goes without saying that your investigation has my full support. You may stop by the Manor at any time to interview me.

Sincerely,  
Draco Malfoy

******

Dear Malfoy,

This is the fifth crime you have reported in the last month that is not typically at the top of the list for Aurors. We have, you know, Dark Wizards, murderers, rapists, and several other types of illegal persons that have to come first. Your case will be looked into, I assure you, but I tend to be busier than most. Are you certain I can't refer you to someone else? Someone who can give proper attention to your needs?

Potter

******

Dear Auror Potter,

You are busy for a reason and you and I both know what it is: quite simply, you are the best. And that is why I continue to request your services. As you are well aware, Malfoys expect the best, and sooner or later we always get what we want. To that end, your attention is precisely what my needs require.

See that you don't dally.

Sincerely,  
Draco Malfoy

******

Dear Malfoy,

Your compliments are flattering, but it would take more than frayed shubbery to get me to come over to your home--again. Especially after last time. No, thank you.

As far as your bushes, are you certain the peacocks did not destroy them or something? They are allowed in that part of the yard.

Auror Potter

******

Potter,

Mr. Malfoy's solicitor just owled to remind us that the Malfoy family's generosity paid for the construction of the new wing of this department. Among other things. 

He also mentioned that Mr. Malfoy is concerned you won't be giving his case due diligence because of your stormy history. I assured him that wasn't the case and that you would be out at the scene of the crime to gather evidence and interview the victim first thing in the morning tomorrow. 

Do /not/ make me a liar. 

Head Auror Clause

******

Call off your dogs. I'll be there at 11. 

Auror Potter

******

Potter,

Don't make it sound so unpleasant. I am perfectly delightful company, and my bushes have still been ravaged! It could some passive-aggressive behavior on the part of someone who has issue with me or my family and a precursor to worse action against us. You're an Auror, and as one you should know by now not to over-look any details.

See you at 11. I will have tea made.

Malfoy

******

Dear Malfoy,

I am afraid that this morning may be a mistake for our meeting. We should reschedule. I spent the better part of the morning chasing a man down several miles in humid weather and by the time it came for me to get ready to see you (which is now) I realized I an sweating from head to toe--completely drenched, and do not have time to bathe or shower before Apparating to the Manor gates to meet our scheduled time. I have an opening again for tomorrow at the same time if you would prefer to avoid getting my perspiration on your floors or furniture.

Auror Potter 

******

Dear Auror Potter,

Come as you are. The Manor has a wide array of showers and baths that you may avail yourself of, if you would like. I fear that if we cancel this meeting (which, given owl flight time you are already more than an hour late for), you will become too busy to see me because you are in such high demand, and I am not overly worried for my floors and furniture. They have been sweated on before. They will be sweated on again. Soon, even, if I'm lucky. 

That's what house-elves are for. 

Seen you soon,  
Draco 

******

Dear Malfoy,

As much as I appreciate such a generous offer, I could not take your hospitality for granted--and I feel that it is unprofessional to bathe in a victim's home. I assure you that you have just as much precedence as all my other cases and will be treated accordingly.

Auror Potter

oo00oo00oo

Dear Auror Potter,

Thank you very much for coming by today in spite of your hectic morning. I can finally rest easy knowing the case has been solved and the culprits identified. (Who would have thought it was Gnomes? We will have to purchase some jarveys.) Your reputation is well-deserved. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't until after you left that I noticed one of our silver candlesticks has gone missing. It belonged to my great-great-grandmother and its loss is a terrible blow to the family history. Should I file a formal report or would you rather just come by tomorrow evening to investigate? Round 7? The house-elves can prepare all your favourites for dinner if you're hungry. 

Draco

******

Dear Malfoy,

... Is that your way of asking me for dinner? Each time I come over or there is a possibility I may come over you make some sort of indirect pass at me, it seems. Walking around in just a towel after a shower, for instance, and claiming you just lost track of time. And when you lost a painting and thought it had been stolen you tried to have me fitted for leather pants. Then there was the time your mother went missing, but it turned out she had left for France and the note she left was misplaced and when I found her you wanted to feed me chocolates, literally. Or being more concerned about whether or not I stay for tea versus inspecting the bushes. You always have some excuse, like wanting to show appreciation or something, but there is no way that so many "incidents" could be happening in your home. It is Malfoy Manor, and I know personally how hard it is to get in and out without an invitation.

How about trying something more... Direct?

Auror Potter

******

Dear Auror Potter,

I would like very much for you to bend me over a hard surface and fuck me until I can no longer stand on my own.

Is that direct enough for you?

Draco 

******

Dear Draco,

That wasn't what I meant, but I will take it.

See you at 7, and I won't cancel. After all, someone has to find your candlestick.

Harry


End file.
